Please, Please, Please………….. STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop asking me when I am going to find a good man!
Stop asking me why I am still single!
Stop asking me when I am going to settle down!
Stop suggesting in the slightest way that I am not complete yet!
Stop telling me that you just want me to be happy!
And Please, please, please for the LOVE of God himself, Please stop telling me your praying for me to find a husband!
I know all of your intentions are good, great and only looking for my best interest so please don’t take this the wrong way when I ask you to stop all of the above things and so much more…
You see I struggle with these thoughts and feelings on a daily and some times minute by minute basis and your questions only make those feelings, thoughts and desires intensify! I don’t know why God hasn’t brought a great Godly man into my life… He hasn’t clued me in yet! So please don’t ask!
Honestly as of right now I don’t want someone in my life… I’m a little selfish with my time when I am not working and right now is probably not the best time for God to bring someone in my life. I want to be able to choose what I do on my day off not cater to someone else’s wants and needs! So please for once in my life let me be selfish if that’s what you want to call it… On my day off I want to… sit and read a book, go for a walk through the woods, go down to visit my friends on a whim, write blogs or just spend time alone! Is any of that bad? Is any of that wrong? No but as Im sure you have found out in your married bliss.. Your time is not your own any more! You have someone else to think about when you come home from a long days work and they ask you whats for dinner? Again that is not a bad thing and I once was willingly happy to give my time to anothers needs and wants. However my heart was broken and torn apart by my untimely love affair with someone that God did not intend for me. So I would rather not go down that road again and look for love in the wrong places with the wrong men!
I still desire love… though my heart was shattered I hope and pray that I have not allowed it to get hard and bitter due to those circumstances. I just know that because of those circumstances I have to guard my heart, body and thoughts all the more!
I can’t even watch a stupid love movie without a deep hurt and longing for something more than what I have in my life! SO… rest assured friends! I am still human!!
I still desire intimacy!! I would love to be held, caressed by strong manly hands that know all the right places to awaken feelings in me long repressed! However that is not to be so right now or any time soon… SO I have to flee from those thoughts and temptations with everything in me!
So when you make light jokes about a man that was friendly having a crush or liking me…. It isn’t a light joke to me… Its like a match igniting a flame of desire that does not need to be lit! I have to keep my mind in check each and every encounter with different men every day and not let my mind wander to the “what if’s” or “Maybe hes the one…” thoughts! It is a constant fight, a constant battle and frankly I am tired!
So please understand that when I write this I am simply asking for your help… You are aware of this now… so now you can’t say you unknowingly awakened a desire in me for all of the above things. You now know why I am asking and I pray that if you do love me you will continue to pray for the one God may have to bless my life with, but please don’t tell me about it. Do it in the quiet and secret place where only you and God know.
And for any other single person in your life, please consider these thoughts for them as well! Especially if they are any age over 25! Trust me it isn’t in a girls nature to want to be 27, 33 or 38 years old and still single! Every girl dreams of her knight in shining armor to sweep her off of her feet! And even though all outward appearances from her may seem like she is unaware that he has not arrived… she knows in her heart and longs each night to have arms to hold her tight and tell her how much she is loved! She doesn’t need your reminder on top of it!
Thank you for your time, thoughts, prayers and best intentions!